Only Human
by TheJunebug1218
Summary: SECOND CHAPTER UP.  It seems like everything is Merlin's fault. Is inspired by the youtube video Only Human-Merlin. WARNINGS:NO SLASH, almost suicide, emotional Merlin whump. Please Review! I'm addicted!:D
1. Chapter 1

**Only Human~**

**This is a drabblish oneshot. I always wondered what it must feel like to have to make the worst and hardest decisions, and not be overcome with the emotional toll. It seems like everything is Merlin's fault. Is inspired by the youtube video Only Human-Merlin. **

**WARNING: This mentions an almost suicide. NO SLASH, it may seem like it but it was meant for friendship only. Sorry, slash lovers. Truly, I'm sorry.**

**Please Review! I love reviews!**

**I don't own Merlin, *tear***

"Merlin, you idiot! What do you think you are doing! Your sleeping on the job! You're supposed to be mucking out the horse stalls!" Arthur yelled.

_Why is it always my fault_, Merlin thought to himself while standing up from the stool he had been sleeping on only moments before.

He didn't have the strength to even try coming up with a retaliation to this, he simply submitted to the criticism. "Sorry sire, it won't happen again." He grabbed the pitchfork and began to clean the horses mess. He didn't look to see Arthur's confused expression.

This is what Merlin got everyday, his reward for saving Arthur's life was scorn and mocking. It wasn't fair. He deserved so much more than a servant's life. He wanted to live in peace, he didn't want this destiny. He wanted his family, Balinor, Will, but most of all he wanted Freya. He thought about her often, sometimes forgetting that he had chores to do, he simply sat down and cried. He never told Arthur about his feelings, who would.

That night he decided, tonight is the night. He was going to end his pain, no more suffering. He opened the Prince's door, with his dinner in his arms. Arthur was standing by the window sill. He looked deep in thought. Merlin set the food down on the table quietly and looked for something to say. Nothing, not a word was spoken.

"Merlin." He looked up to see Arthur staring at him.

"Yes sire?"

"It seems to me that something has been troubling you lately, Merlin. I normally would leave a man to his own thoughts, however, it is affecting your work ethic. So, tell me what's bothering you."

Merlin didn't look up. Everything, I hate myself, I hate my life, I miss Freya. Its my fault that everyone I care about is dead. It's my fault Morgana has become evil, and now she wants to destroy Camelot forever. It's my fault that Mordred is still alive, probably planning the downfall of the Once and Future King. "Nothing sire."

"Merlin, don't lie to me."

"I wouldn't, is there something else I can get you." He wanted to leave, he could feel the tears beginning to form, threatening to expose him. He felt his pocket, feeling the vial of poison, and remembering that it was almost over.

"Merlin, if I have been…..harsh to you lately, I want to apologize, cause I can be very impatient sometimes. I'm sorry."

Merlin wanted to answer, but a lump had formed in his throat, and he felt the tears brush his face as they fell to the stone floor. He never expected to get an apology, especially from Arthur. "I…I don't deserve that, s-sire."

Next he new he was sitting on the cold floor, his back against the wall, with his face in his hands. His whole body wracked with sobs. Merlin felt Arthur sit next to him and put his arm around him. He felt hopeless, he was a failure. He let his head slide onto Arthur's shoulder. And he began to feel comforted. Even though he was ignorant of Merlin's secret, he cared for a useless manservant. After minutes of endless tears, they slowed and Merlin sat up, breathing heavily.

"Merlin, please, tell me."

"Ok"

**I think that is explanation enough, but if you want me to make a second chapter I can. I am happy with it, hope you guys are too! REVIEW PLEASE! I'm addicted :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Only Human~ Pt. 2**

** Thanks for supporting this story! You guys wanted a second chapter so I thought I should please you! D. Hope you like the reveal!**

**Warnings: NO SLASH! No flames for reviews, cause I don't like them. **

**I sadly don't own Merlin, BBC took my idea…..JK….ok, back to the story**.

"Merlin, please, tell me."

"Ok" Merlin took a deep breath. He wanted to do this for so long, ever since he realized he and Arthur could be friends. He was just scared. "Arthur, promise me something."

"Of course, what is it?" Merlin felt like he was going to cry again, but he held back the tears.

"Promise me that you won't think any differently of me, no matter what happens. Promise me you will try to understand." Arthur was confused after listening to this request. _Why would I? Merlin couldn't have done anything that bad…could he?_

"Arthur, I…I'm a warlock." Merlin barley let the words fall out of his mouth, and he watched the Prince. The reaction wasn't what Merlin had expected.

Arthur was almost laughing, "You're kidding, right? A warlock?" he smiled, but it faded when he saw Merlin's expression. "You're not kidding?" Merlin shook his head, slowly.

"I wanted to tell you. I'm sorry I lied….I should have told you. I had to keep it a secret to protect you. I had to keep you safe, and being dead wouldn't help your destiny. And you wouldn't have believed me anyway. I've tried to tell you before." Arthur was shocked, he never expected this. Not from Merlin. Who had been with him for over 3 years.

"You're telling me that you're a sorcerer?"

"No, not a sorcerer, a warlock," he said, looking slightly frustrated. "I never choose magic, it choose me."

"So…you are a warlock, not a sorcerer. You said you were protecting me. Why?" Arthur asked, still confused.

"Wow, you can be quite dull at times Arthur. Do you even realize how many people hate your guts? Tons of people want to kill you, and I'm the one who has to protect you. Didn't you ever wonder why we escaped unharmed? Why those branches happened to fall conveniently on top of the bad guys? Maybe you've hit your head to many times." He seemed almost angry at Arthur. _How thick can he be?_

"Oh, well, I guess I was too busy fighting. So you made all that stuff happen? Like the ceiling that collapsed at Idirsholas, that didn't happen on its own."

"That would be me."

"How many times have you saved me?"

"Too many to count, so don't bother."

"Merlin, I trust you, I wish that you could have trusted me sooner, but your reasoning is better than what I would have had. Do you trust me now?" Arthur asked, staring at Merlin, hoping he would say yes.

"With my life, sire."

"Good, because I want to know why you were so upset earlier. If I had something to do with it, I'm sorry."

"It wasn't just you….It-it was everything. You don't know the things that I've done to protect you."

"Merlin, I know what's in your pocket, and I don't know why you were going to use it. If you don't want to tell me yet that's fine. You've done enough already."

"Thank you, Arthur. You're a good friend."

"Do you want the day off?"

"And miss the chance to annoy you? Never."

**Ahhhh, our two boys are soooo cute, aren't they! XD Love them to death. Hope you enjoyed it. REVIEW, I love reviews! Thanks to anyone and everyone who did already. It makes me giddy! *Squee* *Laughs* *Wipes away tear*. Ok I'm good now. Please Review!**


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